I’m starting to think that recently I’m such a mess. I have no power to study, to do something useful for my own life, to think about somebody else, and much more. I worried with my upcoming future, which I’ll be graduated in a year, I’m going for an internship in less than 3 months (which the bad part is I haven’t get any internship company yet), and so much more.
I also feel a little bit lonely and homesick, which in this part, I miss my suck high school year, when I had so much time to take care of myself and less pain in the asses. It doesn’t mean I’m that lazy (okay, I’m a bit lazy), but I just feel that all these (monotonic) activities just started to kill me slowly.
I really want to break the ice inside of me. I want both excellence in my academics and happiness in my daily life. I know without fulfilling both of those goals simultaneously, I won’t make it. I don’t feel myself blend with my routines and environments anymore. I feel that I’m not that dynamic as what I used to. I need to find a way to get back in the shape. But I don’t know how.
Only if you guys would understand this cloudy sky above me. But I guess you wouldn’t. I’m stuck in a crossroad.